Who is Bio Dad?

When you don’t know who your biological parents are, you jump on any little scrap of information you can get.

I’ve talked to several people who knew my mother, including her best friend, Nancy. During our first conversation, she assured me she had no idea who my bio father could be. The second time we talked, she told me she never knew my father but very casually mentioned he was a golfer. A golfer?  A professional golfer? A suburban guy who liked to putt around on the golf course for fun? Nancy didn’t know. How long did he and my mother go out? I asked. Just a couple times, Nancy said. Hmmm. Very interesting.

good golfing photo
Courtesy of Flickr/Sean MacEntee

That’s all I know about my father. My mother was married and had four kids when she met him. She worked as a waitress and cook at a number of bars, restaurants and a very nice private club with a golf course in the suburbs north of Chicago. Did she meet my father at one of those places? Possibly. I don’t know where she was working in the summer of 1963, which is when I was conceived.

I hope a DNA test will move my search in the right direction. Using Family Tree DNA’s Family Finder test kit, I scraped samples of DNA from the insides of my cheeks and sent the results back to the company. Family Tree DNA will contact me if my sample matches any samples in the company’s database.

I know where my mother came from and what her childhood and adult life were like. I have a picture of her in my head and several photos of her on my desk.

Dad is a mystery man. Unless I find someone who knew him, someone who can tell me what he was like, I’ll always picture my father as some featureless guy in a golf shirt toting a cart full of clubs and flirting with married waitresses.

6 thoughts on “Who is Bio Dad?

  1. This is a brave journey, Lynne. It was jarring to see the photos of your birthmother; your resemblance to her was immediately visible. My best wishes to you as your quest continues.

  2. It was freaky to see those photos of my mother, Allison. I’ll bet you’re glad you are not adopted. Hope all is well.

  3. It was freaky to see those photos of my birth mother, Allison. Tom says he sees me in that photo of my mother holding the fish. This search mission is fascinating but draining. I’ll bet you’re glad you’re not adopted!

  4. Adopted in July 1962. Met both birth parents. At least I know who they are. Birth father is a loser 7 kids 5 different women. Two fifteen year olds at once. He was 21. I have as sister the same age as me. Birth mother still alive about 100 miles from me. Says I ruined her life. Got rejected from her. Hurts. No secrets. Love your blog. Hope you find your information.

  5. Sounds like you’ve been through hell, Suzan. These searches are risky aren’t they? I feel like I got myself into this and I’ll take it as far as I can. But at some point, the search will come to an end and I will be able to focus on the present. Looking forward to it!

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